What am I?

Chopped liver? Okay, so the name isn't as classy as pate or foie gras. Since Trader Joe's is no longer reliable, here are two versions, one rustic, one a bit more sophisticated.

Rustic:

Saute half a minced onion in chicken fat. What? You don't keep any on hand? Substitute vegetable oil. Cook onions until nicely browned, remove from saucepan, set aside.

Take half a pound of chicken livers. Remove any green bits (bleh) and gristly connective tissue.

Add more chicken fat or vegetable oil to skillet. Saute the chicken livers two to three minutes per side, on medium heat. When done livers should be pink, not raw or gray inside. Remove.

Using your mezzaluna or sharp knife chop the livers into small bits. Using a fork add the onions, a bit more chicken fat, salt. Now it should be a lumpy, not smooth, consisitency. Salt to taste, adding a diced hard boiled egg.

I like it on water crackers, with perfect dill pickles and a beer. Or even a wonderful Coca Cola. Now that's fusion cuisine.

Upmarket:

Shred two slices of bacon. Saute slowly in a saucepan with a bit of olive oil. Add a quarter cup diced onion. Brown.

Again, with half a pound of chicken livers, remove gristle, and this time slice the livers into fourths.

When the bacon is cooked through, add the livers, salt, pepper, and a big pinch of crumbled sage. (don't be shy, it's great!). Cook for two to three minutes total, turning the pieces.
If it seems too raw or too little moisture to cook them through, add a tablespoon of water.

As the water evaporates add a tablespoon or two of brandy. Cook the alcohol down, remove from heat, cool.

Pour the cooled mixture into your blender. Add a tablespoon of butter, and puree.

This stuff is delicious on crackers. To make yourself work even harder, spread on baguette slices, sprinkle on some Parmesan cheese and run it under the broiler.

Any guesses on which version's kosher? Any wine recommendations?