Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Why I am a bad consumer

The other day I needed to replace something.  I realize "something" is vague; for the purposes of this exploration let's call it the sturdy hand towel, that has graced my downstairs bathroom for years, or perhaps it was a search for a bright shiny saucepan to replace the one that's been seasoned perfectly and dented by years of use.   No matter, I had a mission.

There is a problem living in a quiet neighborhood.  Most other places qualify as  sensory overload, and so it was with my excursion.  It was not the cinnamon scented Yankee candles, it was not the rows of Thanksgiving knicks and knacks, nor the spry and fey Santas so festively garlanded.  Nope.  It was the announcers coming from the tv monitors.

The announcers, certain of my reluctance to buy and incompetence in using their products, stalked me through the rows and aisles.  They insisted I learn how to build a gingerbread train using their kit; how to set a perfect table; how to fold a napkin; how to use a swiffer; how to competently snap shut their storage boxes, how to use a magazine rack, over and over and over again.  I surrendered my credit cards to the first store clerk I came across, and fled.


  1. Oh, how truly hysterical. Or hysterically true. The city can be a dodgy business for us mountain folk. One time I went into Old Navy for a sweatshirt and it scared me to death.

  2. Leave - cross the parking lot - enter Ross. On a good day the store takes on the appearance of "rapture in progress." Personally I enjoy this sort of chaos but then I'm on the high end of the lowland. Ill bred

  3. PA: I love Ross--I just can not bear tvs and announcers--I read today they're adding them to McDonald's captive audience.
    AH: I think commerce in general scares me. Sigh.

  4. I'm the same way. Retail in general is exhausting, unpleasant. I do not linger. Even grocery shopping is awful, although Trader Joe's at least gives me coffee and a snack.

    This is one reason my wardrobe is so dull. I can't bear the time it takes to consider one outfit over the other, one color or style. I've just got to get out of there and I do, sometimes without buying.

    If we were rich we could shop in more comfortable surroundings.

    There's a car wash on Walnut where a TV runs constant ads. You can't escape it. I won't go there.

  5. Which makes me wonder: the retailers make money off these ads. But if they're sending shoppers away, are they worth it?

    I suppose I'm in the minority.

  6. Honestly PB I wanted to ask the manager that very question--but I couldn't wait to get out of there!

  7. Ah, yes, this explains why the serendipity of a yard sale is manna from heaven.