Would you like brine with your meal?

AH, always the provocateur, asks what kind of brine gal am I?

So, I've brined chickens. They're juicy inside, crisp outside, flavorful too.  But you can't stuff 'em, they're waaaay too salty.  And, face it, for some of us turkey is just an excuse for the dressing.  This year spin-the-turkey has singled me out; and, sure I could stay with the tried and successful: steamed turkey, courtesy the bird in the bag from Reynolds (and it works great, just fine, cook it breast side down,  and your turkeys will always be moist and flavorful), but my heart craves adventure.

(Uh, married and monogamous, I'll take my adventure where I can find it).  So, to answer AH, dry brine!  I can't commend it, yet, because the feast is still a few days off.  It promised to be simple:  Use three tablespoons of kosher salt to sprinkle inside and out of a 15 lb turkey.  I hit a glitch on the next step: slip into 2 1/2 gallon bag, and squeeze the air out.  Two bags refused to seal.  By the third bag I sprinkled another teaspoon or two of salt (to make up for all that got left behind in the previous storage bags) and pushed the air out.  And kept pushing.  Apparently I have a less-than-airtight bag.

Thursday morning I will remove it from the bag--stuff it, roast it, and then decide.  Need the details? Courtesy Russ Parsons here.

Or, are you having a panic attack, cuz even though the house is tidy, the plates are washed, the crystal's gleaming,  you've got your priorities straight because there's plenty of booze on hand, but you have no idea what the heck you're feeding those 5-12 guests?  Patina's got you covered.  They'll even deliver. Just let them know, like, NOW!